Gifted hands (part VIII) – The war within me! !!

In the book of Genesis, Abraham and Sarah were visited by three random strangers. These strangers were angels in disguise, with the audacity to gently   remind Abraham, of God’s promise, to make him the father of many nations , and also, that Sarah will bear a child in her old age. Y’all know that mama Sarah laughed so hard. I would have laughed too. Lol! Biologically speaking, child bearing at the age of 90, is a miracle. Nowadays, it is hard at 25 years old, how much more 90 years. Lol! Long story short, it came to pass!!

After the conversation in part VII, my friend did not know that she was the angel , sent to remind me of God ‘ s plan concerning my life . Of course, I laughed so hard just like Sarah did.

Couple of weeks after our conversation, it felt like a war within me!

The “me” that was satisfied with sewing clothes wrestled with the “me” desperate to explore my options and just maybe, this will become the opportunity that I’ve been waiting for! I was so nervous and restless that, I finally went to church the following Sunday. Here comes the pastor, preaching a sermon entitled “the danger of making your temporary place , a permanent comfort zone “. In split seconds, thoughts began to run through my mind , like a wild fire.

Could it be a  sign from heaven,  at this hour?

See, I was fine with my daily routine of sewing clothes , from sunrise to sunset, 6 days a week. Making my clienteles happy until , my friend  interrupted the  cycle of my life, with this news of hers, that has got me thinking and warring in my soul.

Stop the madness!! It’s not that complicated! One might think. But , hold up! Wait a minute! There are rules to every engagement and any new venture! First of all, most people will look at me like I’m crazy. Lol! Like if you were truly born in America, why are you still here in Nigeria?  It wasn’t uncommon for most people to brag about been born overseas. Especially, if it’s anywhere in the United States.

What would be my response? Who do I blame it on? Do I blame it on my parents’ unexpected divorce?  Do I blame it on financial issues? Obviously not , because, my dad was making good money , plus he had the connections and all he had to do was to make one phone call and set the ball rolling.

Please, don’t get me started on the blame-game. It literally drove me nuts! Apparently if I asked my beloved dad what was keeping him from sending me to the States for studies. His famous response would be ” It’s your mom’s fault, she should not have left me when I was in financial difficulty” Now y’all are suffering because of that.”  In my little brain, I’m trying to figure out, how his response correlated with my academic future, lol!

This is just a sneak peak of the every day life in my household, lol! Oh the struggles! Totally dysfunctional!! Lol! Y’all know that if we had a choice, we would choose a perfect family to be born into.  The reality is that it’s never the case. We’ve got to love what we have, flaws and all ♥♥♥♥

I knew that my decision to relocate to the United States would cost me money, loss of relationships, confidence, trust, and faith to trust the unknown. First of all, I have to go through the “fiery darts” of retrieving my birth documents from my beloved dad! Lol! Apparently, it’s that precious, smh!

“Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly!-Robert F. kennedy

…..to be continued….!!!

Thanks for your time viewing,

…….this nigerian_chic♥♥♥♥♥♥