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I See You !!!

Oh CRRT! One minute you romance me with the feelings of Wonder Woman saving lives, the next minute I’m exhausted from your constant needs! Your alarms are so aggressive, please ask for my attention with tender, loving, care.

If you are behind on your work out routine for the week, get ready for a cardio and HIIT session with CRRT! One bag of dialysate is equivalent to 20lbs, FYI

How can I forget you, effluent! On behalf of your frequent users can you be nice and decrease the rate at which you fill up?!?! Lol! My Gluteus Maximus cries for help from the frequent squats position necessary to empty you, lol!

I no do again ! No be by force ! lol!

Dear Ventilator, your high and low alarms are like necessary music to my ears, I don’t have a choice. BTW, your water trap alarms are so unfriendly! In the land of A, B, Cs you are priority! It’s just the way it is!

Literally, your wish is my command! Lol!

BTW, have you even started your shift, if you haven’t received these warnings from Alaris ?!?!

“Beep! Beep!!!! Beeeeeeeep!!!! Air in line! Patient side occluded! Infusion completed!

Baxter was friendly but Alaris did not come to play! She reminds me of Margaret Thatcher, literally beeps at every thing, lol! There is word on the street that you are smarter than Baxter. Sometimes, I feel like there’s a conspiracy going on. It seems like you beep at the moment I sit down to chart!

….to be continued!!!

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